This winter

This winter has definitely been putting in the time for the worst winter of my life. It's a super close race between this and last winter where I sat in Gainesville unemployed for 6 months panicked about money. At least that winter I had little things to help pick me up. This winter has been practically all down hill. I would never have imagined things getting so bad in December. I wish I could go back and do it all over but I can't and I am heartbroken and hurt. I've got 12 days left and then its back to solo after spending so much time with Jordin. I am going to do my best to stay strong, but I know I am not a strong person. I don't know what this summer will bring, but I pray its blue skies. I could really use some of those.

breakdowns

Some days everything just seems to fall apart. I find my self lost feeling like I am in the middle of the ocean on a boat, but everything is all wrong. I can't decide which way to go, all the maps make no sense, my compass is broken, and even the stars are all wrong.
It's never been the easiest for me to talk to people, and definitely not when something is wrong.
I'm feeling like the stitching of the network of support I had has just fallen apart, and I'm longing for the days when things were easier to make sense of.
Sure I can go hang out with my friends, but when you've been away for as long as I am at a time, what else do you have to talk about, but the past.
I'm not brave enough to go somewhere new on my own and start over. I used to be so happy about how everything has gone, but now things are like fuck. I'm unhappy. And I'm not sure what steps I can take to fix anything. Sure I've got a phone full of numbers, but I can't think of a reason to call anyone or even anything to talk about. I'm awash in a sea of loneliness and despair.

I definitely spent today at a nude beach. It was interesting to say the least.

If you asked me where i'd be now a year ago i wouldn't be able to comphrend it.

I've been here before. I've missed staying up drinking with friends til the wee hours. I needed this.

The Greatest Story Ever Told

This is by far one of the most important albums to come out this decade. It reeks of excellence. It is the only "concept" album I have ever been able to sit and listen to over and over again. The album as a whole could not be put together better. The artwork is extremely engaging. The lyrics sheet, which usually only has the words and maybe some thank yous, has detailed footnotes for every song. I found it extremely interesting to read the explanations for why these lines exist. I listen to this from start to finish every time I put it on. Definitely check it out.

Random note of the day. Never trust a man that has chickenwire on the window of his truck.